So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
