you would pick up someone in the library
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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