U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
