Kiss
Puke
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
