so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can I color on your dick again?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
