My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
