Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
how does that bad decision feel?
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