I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
