My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
