If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
