Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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