Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
