i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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