He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
