i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
