you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
