stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
