You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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