Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
