I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize