she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize