I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
