what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
