I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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