lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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