brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
