Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
