Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
