you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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