this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
