he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So much Jack, so little girl.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
