Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
