yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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