Got a toothbrush?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
