Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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