There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
