She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
