I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize