she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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