Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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