and i looked up. we had an audience...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
