He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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