A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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