Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
