Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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