similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
