You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
