Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
