belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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