Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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