...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
