I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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