You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
