i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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