god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
