I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
